Het Verboden Rijk

Slauerhoff op z’n best Vreemd, dat ik van de aarde af moest zijn, om mij weer zeker van mijzelf te voelen.Mijzelf. Ik ben nog niet oud, en heb al verleerd te leven. Ik wilde mij eenzaam bewaren en ben in aanraking gekomen met al het vuil, dat de wereld opbrengt.Ik voel mij grauw en klam, ik kan die neerslag nooit meer van mij afspoelen. Zal ik ooit weer van het leven kunnen drinken zonder weerzin, en een wind, niet verpest door de walmen van rottend schip of menschenbarende stad, uit zee, uit het zuivere, als een streeling langs mijn huid voelen gaan? En loopen door een pijnboomwoud, alleen mijn schaduw bij mij. Mij laten omvloeien door een koude beek, mij laten […]


Silence for the third place an orientation We create time and pleasureShare moments where we inhale and exhaleWhere we work, do researchShare feelings, laughter, thoughts, suggestions, art.Where you can celebrate  your  anniversary, your success, your wedding, company partySo we are in a time frame that is newIf you go out to a café or restaurant… you move… the location to share your energy or to be on a place where others do soYou shareThe time that we lock ourselves up in front of the tv in our own living room away from the worldAre overWe want to live lifeBe inspired, be part and sometimes be alone in a public space We want to eat decent food of choiceHealthy, low carb, vegan, honest […]


Zijnsvergetelheid we bevinden ons niet tegenover maar in de wereldDe warme blik, de zachte oogopslag geeft kracht aan je relatieLaat jezelf versmelten juist door de respectvolle ontroeringAls je even in en bij de ander bentDe kleinste details eigenstandig vervullenLucide als in een droom omgeven laat Al de betekenis schuilt in het laten oplichten van wat deWaar ge nomen hebt De zuiverheid verbindt immer, roep direct ook de tinteling aan van alle herinneringen aan mensen die uit je leven gegaan zijnOok momenten , gebeurtenissen…  Veel te vaak denken over onszelf na in relatie totwat anderen denkenGevallen aan de wil van anderenHet leven wordt mooier als je er meer bij stil staat  wat je zin-tuigen ervaren Wie fühlst du dich?‘Neem belangrijke beslissingen alleen als je jezelf […]

let us talk about love

 The simplest of all is attention. For your mind, boy , soul and spirit. Here I do not mean self-love with 10000 selfies but being you and being congruent loving.If you need to show the world ‘how balanced and loving’ you are… we call that window-dressing and the focus is not on you nor on the other. It is just a gimmick, an attempt to be somebody in somebody else’s eyes.Before love comes attention. Experiencing and noticing the finest of details comes first. The ability to be alike and search for ‘rapport’, sameness one might say.With sharing love comes awareness and responsibility towards each other.In normal situations you want to please the other and make him or her happy.The gastronomy […]

Soften More

Soften MoreWas a line I heard in a seminar in L.A. In Anaheim to be exact. Just behind Disney Land.I was out and about in California. In the United (Emotional) States. Not 18 anymore only 37.A 8 week seminar on perception, communication, hypnoses and psychology.As a child I spend hours looking at the stars. Could play with flies and butterflies lying in the field.Listened to Al Green, Still in Love with you. Don Mclean’s Vincent. Roberta flack ‘the first time ever I saw your face’; Simon and Garfunkel’s ‘I am a Rock’ and lots of Hildegard von Bingen… Walked or biked to the sea in Katwijk and swam almost every evening.Feeling of the water, the sand, hearing the warm whispering wind […]

Who the hell is Hamlet?

Hamlet was right…..‘Thus conscience does make cowards of us all` (1609)Fear follows conscience?What possibilities do we have… we stand and look… know what is the right thing but … scared as a rabbit who looks into a cars lights you paralyze….Throw up the phone, turn off the radio, shut people up….so run away from insecurity…Do you know that you waste away your life if you in a schizoid manner provoking yourself in  persisting in hiding from any kind of consciousness?Do you jam your internal dialogue with music, moving pictures, opposite affirmations.We live in a Greek-Christian reality, at least here in the west, a very much Value based world.All the virtuous of the Greek and Roman Gods dwell in your mind […]

The virtue of values….

So we live in the west in a Greek reality. Value driven assisted by beliefs. We have a constitution mostly finding his origin in the mid 19th century. We got a right to vote, if you look at that line…. Who is the party that says: ‘Oh give them their vote…’ It meant that there was pressure from larger groups and Politicians with an Ideal and vision. True history humanity has proven to be completely insane and able to be great in achievement. One might say that a large group is able to use their brain and body in a proper way and could think for themselves. There would not be so many law books if we would more often degree on […]

The beauty and power of insecurity

A genious is somebody who discovers new things in a different wayThe beauty and power of insecurityBe sure enough to be insecure A brief introduction to a course we have been giving for 15 years. A teaser, so that you come to think about it and work with us.Insecurity could lead to fear.. What kinds of fear do we know… Accept for dying, being abandoned, being judged by others, for the unknown, of making the wrong decisions, that you will not make it, that you do not earn enough, loose friends, of having to little self-confidence, no status, no friends, or just the fear of missing joy in your life Paul Verhoeven: ”Insecurity brings creativity!”Robbert Dijkgraaf: ‘A life with no excuses is the […]

You become what you believe

 Let us talk about life.  Your life and my life. Our life! The times of our lives. How we spend it, what we do. When we are healthy, when we are in love, when we are terribly ill.When we are in the streets, at home.. where ever we are we are living. Everywhere you go, there you are. Beyond our 5 senses connected with something bigger and with our 5 senses intense connected to our world.Next to the senses we have our thoughts and feelings. Feelings because of what we experience with our senses externally or because what we think or feel internally.If we just take lung cancer and Heart failureWe come strongly in the top 3 of causes of […]

suffering brings joy?

My dog Charlie has become a father for the 4th time, 8 kids  29 Children he has now. This is wonderful news.

Still today, it is past midnight, it is (for the West) Good Friday. 

So I thought let us talk about departure. As I have had to say goodbye to so many good people. 

Today I was talking to the Pharmacy’s son about the lost of our parents and most recently for him his Dad. Notice that I called the son the ‘Pharmacy’s son. It is a theme for me, departure and being alive and what to do with it.

Being born, All the time in between…, Where do you spent your time on? What and who do you believe?

What is the influence of believing, what that of knowing? Why is experience, empiric always different than one says?

Why is it rare that 2 minds understand the same… Mean whilst 80.000 sing along with same tears in a concert?

What are the most iconic moments in history where we can almost embrace death and life itself as bing one of the same …..?

As. I am not planning on doing much research now,  I come with things more at random,

emotional one might say

The Johannes passion was  for the first time performed on Good Friday 7. April 1724, in  The Leipziger Nikolaikirche . The Mattheus came some what later (1727).The Mattues  by Richter and where  Diskau sings … made the 3 cold hours in a cold church almost eduring..


But here the master ( Bach himself, Where would? God or Christianity be without the Matheus and Johannes Passion?

Althought we have the Good Friday to contemplate over death and life. It often is a theological theme. As strange is it might be… it Is the introduction of discussion. A. lot of wrong or right, good or bad comes around the corner.  Even between what ‘Passion’ is better…. Sure is in abstract we are involved with  life and death. 

 It was much earlier that the poem Stabat mater dolorosa came to its conclusion. 1207

Beautiful but also the theme suffering. Beautiful performed by Pergolesi (and many others)

Round and about the same time, as the Passions, 1736 Pergolesi gave tone to the Stabat mater. There in this singing you can feel the grief from a mother who lost her child.. that underway becomes THE LORD a saviour leaves the beautiful music bring you in a state of joyful humbull

 The most famous of all is The Pieta’ is that one from Da Vinci (1517, Da Vinci was 24 years)



I went to Padova to see the fresco of Giotto (made in 1305) A Pieta but called Lamentations. 




Lamentation of Christ (1305) by Giotto is almost more human, where da Vinci is secret

It brought me to Rembrandt who ‘hangs’ in Leiden


1630 rembrandt hangs in Leiden, Lakenhal

It fascinated me more and more. The Question is ‘what is the sufferering’  and ‘About what’. Clearly it had all to do with sorrow and feelings of guild.

Of course it is clear. But the music and paintings, and fresco’ s have grown to become things that we seek or remember also when we grief ourself. So the real meaning is not that important… perhaps-

 From Lamentations van Rembrandt I came to The barok, from Dresden Jan Dimas Zelenka with his Lamentations of Jeremiah steps towards the human aspect. 

You feel and hear the individual weeping and whining about what all went wrong. what HE did wrong.



 with all respect the reference is clear, we might see a human reflecting on his own mistakes (according to…) but it is always in the light of Jesus, God or Maria.


At a lot of ceremonies you can hear Requiem von Mozart or Faure supposing lighter, than Zelenka, Stabat Mater or Bach. Still in all these themes Jesus is the main Focus.

In 1833 and 1834 Friedrich Rückert overcome  what we now would like to address to as one can overcome. Loosing a child.

Mahler hat lost 7 brothers and in 1907 a daughter.  I have to take up the german text, because of the emotions within it.



Oft denk’ ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen!

Oft denk’ ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen!
Bald werden sie wieder nach Hause gelangen! Der Tag ist schön! O sei nicht bang!
Sie machen nur einen weiten Gang!

Jawohl, sie sind nur ausgegangen
Und werden jetzt nach Hause gelangen! O, sei nicht bang, der Tag is schön!
Sie machen nur den Gang zu jenen Höh’n!

Sie sind uns nur vorausgegangen
Und werden nicht wieder nach Hause gelangen! Wir holen sie ein auf jenen Höh’n
Im Sonnenschein!
Der Tag is schön auf jenen Höh’n!

In diesem Wetter, in diesem Braus

In diesem Wetter, in diesem Braus,
Nie hätt’ ich gesendet die Kinder hinaus; Man hat sie getragen hinaus,
Ich durfte nichts dazu sagen!

In diesem Wetter, in diesem Saus,
Nie hätt’ ich gelassen die Kinder hinaus, Ich fürchtete sie erkranken;
Das sind nun eitle Gedanken.

In diesem Wetter, in diesem Graus,
Nie hätt’ ich gelassen die Kinder hinaus; Ich sorgte, sie stürben morgen,
Das ist nun nicht zu besorgen.

In diesem Wetter, in diesem Saus, in diesem Braus, Sie ruh’n als wie in der Mutter Haus,
Von keinem Sturm erschrecket,
Von Gottes Hand bedecket.



alma-gustav-mahler-100~_h-364_v-img__16__9__xl_w-648_-be6819cc57a5436fe2e22755fd9495d5c6ac08f6Gustav und Alma Mahler | Bildquelle: Moritz Nahr

Mahler ist zu diesem Zeitpunkt noch ledig. Doch bald darauf lernt er Alma kennen. Die beiden heiraten, wenige Monate später kommt die erste Tochter Maria Anna zur Welt, zwei Jahre später Anna Justine. Die Arbeit an den “Kindertotenliedern” ruht. Dann aber nimmt Mahler sie plötzlich wieder auf. “Ich kann es wohl begreifen, dass man so furchtbare Texte komponiert, wenn man keine Kinder hat, oder wenn man Kinder verloren hat”, reagiert Mahlers Frau Alma gereizt. “Ich kann es aber nicht verstehen, dass man den Tod von Kindern besingen kann, wenn man sie eine halbe Stunde vorher, heiter und gesund, geherzt und geküsst hat. Um Gottes willen, du malst den Teufel an die Wand!”

1907 starb die gemeinsame Tochter Maria-Anna an ScharlachDiphtherie.


The the playfulness is gone. It is not arbitrair a reference to jesus but this is about children who did exist. Your own flesh and blood.

There are people  say this or that about. And even about Karma.

It now is 01:11 so Friday 10 april Good Friday. A day to remember who are not with us anymore

There are insane situations where people even distant themselves from other whilst still alife.

Life is fragile.

We can, also in our deepest grief, obviously make art, poems, music, that can carry our own tears into a bigger see and makes up wake up to softness. More and more softness in this in creadible myth we call life.

Listen to ‚Kindertotenlieder‘ von Gustav Mahler, Gesungen durch Fischer Diskau. Nach Texten von Friedrich Rückert

In 1985 i was still studying history and life with other students in a house. With one of them, a theoretical Physician, i used to walk, talk about all in life. He gave me the album 78 grammafoon. And we listen to it often, both in tears and still trying to sing.

Still when I hear the 3 and 4 part, I hold my breath and want everybody to listen and grasp this feeling that these 3 men have brought together.

We know there is no answer. Death will come. Still in empathy, softness and loving during the day we will be more connected. And we know, death does not mean out of our hearts and soul.


embrace and create